Asteroid Threat is a Communist Hoax, Declares Lead T-Rex Shortly Before Extinction

Fossil records unearthed today reveal that the dinosaurs didn’t die from a sudden, unavoidable celestial event, but from a stubborn refusal to look up. According to newly translated pterodactyl scratchings, the T-Rex leadership dismissed the incoming Chicxulub asteroid as a "radical left-wing hoax" designed to destroy the robust reptilian economy.

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